Until your ex girlfriend misses you and needs you back in her life, you will never be able to fix your breakup. This is the first thing you should consider when you start planning to get your ex girlfriend back. Nothing you can do or say will turn her on right now, and no amount of flowers or fresh love notes will win her back. The best thing right from the start is to pull back a little, examine yourself and give the breakup room to happen.
That’s right, I said let the breakup happen. Why? Because you can’t build a new future on the broken ruins of what you had together. Think about it. You’ve probably been fighting your breakup this whole time, and chances are it hasn’t worked out so well for you. Instead, you need to tell your ex-girlfriend that you’ve not only accepted the end of the relationship, you’ve accepted it. Encourage the fact that you should go your separate ways, and don’t try to cope by asking for a “temporary” break or assuring him that you just need some time apart.
Getting back together with an ex involves very simple principals, but ones that are often hard to come by. First, you need to make your experience life without you. This means cutting off all contact: no emails, phone calls, texts, or anything like that. Second, you need to make her miss you by giving her time and space – and this part is much easier if you’ve followed the first part. Third and most important, you need to make your ex realize that he is losing you completely. By realizing that you refuse to be in his life at all (not even as an email pen pal, “friend”, etc…) you’re showing him that it’s all or nothing. This is his biggest fear.
Letting go piece by piece is easy. Your ex-girlfriend expects to see you mourn the loss of the relationship, hang on to her feet for a while, and be in her line of sight in case she wants to change her mind. But the harsh reality of having to lose you all at once? It’s often too much for the ex, even the one who did the trashing. This type of behavior is the complete opposite of what he expects you to do and will get you right back into his head.
If you can follow the general idea described above, you are going to wreak havoc on your ex’s plans to end your relationship. He’s going to second-guess himself and question his own decisions, and you can help that process by moving on with your own life. Go out, laugh, have fun and be the life of the party. The fact that you’re doing so well without him is probably the final nail in the coffin of your divorce. This type of behavior will not only remind her of the “old” you, but it will also make your ex miss you. He immediately understands that you don’t need him as much as he needs you, and he doesn’t want to risk losing you by continuing with his decision to end things.
Best of all, you did all of this without any tricks, techniques, or mind games. You didn’t go out with other girls to make your ex jealous, and you didn’t pretend to be something you’re not. You made your ex want you back simply by being yourself and showing him what he’s missing out on if he doesn’t reverse his decision to break up. This is important because your new relationship is more likely to last. When your ex comes back to you alone and thinks it was his idea and not yours, he will be much more likely to stay with you.